


I think I'd miss you forever

by VillainEve



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Eve talks about her feelings, F/F, Honest Conversation, Killing Eve (TV 2018) Season/Series 03, One Shot, V talks about killing her mum, post 3x08, soft very soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:36:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24670129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VillainEve/pseuds/VillainEve
Summary: 'I realised something when we walked away' Eve said.'I think I'd miss you forever'A post 3x08 conversation between Villanelle and Eve. Eve talks about her feelings for Villanelle and V finally opens up about killing her mum.
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 2
Kudos: 83





	I think I'd miss you forever

**Author's Note:**

> So this is set right after the moment on the bridge. V & E walk away together and continue their conversation in a hotel room. It's soft very soft. Absolutely no plot just talking. I never write and English isn't my first language so bare with me (tips are always welcome).
> 
> Come talk to me on tumblr :) bittersweet-ritual.tumblr.com

‘I realised something when we walked away’, Eve said to the other woman with a smile, though the tears in her eyes hadn’t left since the two had walked away together on that bridge. ‘Hmm?’ Villanelle replied softly, moving her head up to fully focus on the other woman. ‘ _That_ _I think I’d miss you forever_ ’ Eve said with a confused look on her face, as if she hadn't fully realised the meaning of her own words until she said them out loud.

'You know...if we had walked away' she continued. Villanelle smiled at the older woman’s reassuring honesty. ‘Me too’ she answered, delicately grabbing Eve’s hand. The dark haired woman looked away contemplating what to say next, because she wanted to - needed to, get some things out of her system.

'I didn't think you would walk away. I didn't think you'd let _me_ walk away', her gaze shifted, now looking directly into the woman's hazel eyes, 'it surprised me' she admitted. The younger woman took a moment to express her newfound insights and spoke confidently when she said 'you aren't mine Eve and there is love in letting go'.

Eve looked at the other woman with a dumbfounded grin on her face, now fully getting to experience the change she had seen in the woman in their moment together in the ballroom.

For a while they were silent, taking in each other's faces with this newfound understanding. Like clockwork, Villanelle turned her softness into something entirely different, ’wow you really are obsessed with me Eve’, her face changing from almost fragile to annoyingly smug.

Eve rolled her eyes but couldn’t help but smile at the woman’s typical change of rhythm. ‘You are such a little shit’ Eve replied, but her face betrayed her as it was still wearing the same grin from a few moments before. ‘I was born that way, can’t help it’ Villanelle answered squinting her eyes, ‘I got it from my dad’. Eve could almost hear a sense of, what was it, pride? in the woman’s words.

She had never heard the blonde talk about her father, or her family for that matter, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that V was about to tell her something.

As if she could read her mind, Villanelle started speaking hesitantly ‘I did something bad Eve’. And if Villanelle hadn’t said it in a tone this heart wrenching, she would’ve laughed and said something like ‘no shit V’. But what she saw in the other woman's face was something she had only seen once before, when they were sat next to each other right before they got up to dance.

Eve had already sensed something had happened to her then, something big. ‘Do you want to tell me about it?’ she said lovingly to which the other woman didn't readily respond.

When she did start talking, Eve could tell it took some internal struggle. The other woman very quickly said, ‘I killed my mum, but - I swear Eve I swear she deserved it - she- she really did’ and then to Eve’s surprise she added, with a scorned look on her face, ‘she was ruining them like she ruined me’.

‘Them who is them V?’ Eve answered, not quite sure where this was going. ‘My brothers’ Villanelle said with a stern voice. Eve needed a moment to unpack what the other woman had just told her. ‘I-‘ started Eve, but she was interrupted by the blonde ‘I just wanted to know what it was like. I wanted to know what it was like to have a real family.'

Eve lightly touched Villanelle's leg, as to say 'come on, you can tell me.' The woman continued to explain herself 'Konstantin betrayed me to save his family and Dasha couldn’t wait to get home to her stinky son’.

Eve looked at the other woman and scoffed, wondering what that was about, but she let her continue. ‘And you should’ve seen that fancy man’s face when he found his baby after I took it, pathetic!' Villanelle’s words got more and more ridiculous and confusing and Eve couldn’t help but laugh. ‘I am telling a very serious story Eve’ Villanelle said disapprovingly but jokingly, ‘you should really pay attention.’

Eve realised that this moment of honesty she was almost getting from Villanelle, wouldn't last long if she gave her too much wiggle room to snap out of it. ‘Oksana…’ Eve said loudly as to wake the other woman up.

‘Tell me.’ Villanelle sat frozen for a while, processing what the other woman had just said, then continued in a more serious tone ‘I wanted to find my family, because they are supposed to love me no matter what.' 'But my mum’…she hesitated, -‘she abandoned me for the darkness she weaned me on.’ As those words came out of her mouth, the hesitation turned into something else, something darker. Eve was taken slightly aback by her eloquence, remembering how smart the other woman was.

‘She was just like me Eve, but she wouldn’t admit it and it killed my brothers’, tears now rolling down the pale woman's cheeks. Eve’s eyes opened wide in shock ‘she killed your brothers?’ ‘Not literally’, Villanelle answered with a lost look in her eyes, 'but it was just like death'.

'You know...people think your soul leaves your body when you die, but I swear it just goes further in.' Eve couldn't help but look at the woman in awe, wondering what else would come from that brilliant mind of hers. 'I could see it happening to my brothers, their souls turning inward, getting smaller and smaller. If I hadn't stopped her, they would've vanished just like that...just like death. She was no better than me, she killed too - just in a different way.’

Villanelle swallowed hard, trying to keep herself together. ‘She was like me Eve, so....but I had to.’ Surprised at the amount of emotions and honest words coming from the other woman, Eve could only listen and reassure her that she understood.

‘I know’ she answered, taking Villanelle’s face in both hands. An overwhelming feeling of love for the woman overtook Eve completely as Villanelle's face turned soft in her palms. ‘Look at me’, the other woman did what she was told. ‘I got you Oksana, you can tell me everything’ Eve said, moving closer to the woman's face. A tingling sensation rushed through her entire body when she lightly brushed their lips together.

In that moment Eve could hardly remember the time when she wasn't sure about what she felt for the other woman, as it was so overwhelmingly clear now. She didn't care what Oksana did, or she did care but only for the other woman's sake.

As she slightly moved away, all she could think was I love you, I love you, I love you. And she meant it, despite everything that had happened between them she loved her, or maybe even _because_ of it. It was so _damn_ loud in her head that her real voice took over, 'I love you' she whispered.

However magical it was for Oksana to finally hear those words, she didn't really need them. She could practically feel it radiate between them, as it was a bold, completely inevitable, _no doubt about it kind of love._


End file.
